The Demise of Johnny Spine

I have gone too far and pushed my family away, ALL OF THEM!! I know some of you may be reading this, so I guess I do wish i could turn back the clock. I am so depressed so much of the time, that i could easily top myself, this is why i feel i could be living on borrowed time...i have to find hope somewhere that life might just get better.
I dont feel the tablets are working effectively and i need something to give me a boost, maybe SOMEONE could give me a boost but because my list of friends is diminishing rapidly, i wish that life could be as full of hope, aspirations, and youthful ignorance. If i knew how disappointing life is when i was younger I probably would be dead already. I dont do cries for help, I have been a psychiatric nurse for too long to live with the knowledge that those people get ridiculed.
~Every day in the papers there is more and more bad newz, I tried stopping reading them, and stopped watching the newz but then you lose touch of what is going on.

My family is split into two, and the first lot HAD to go because of what they did, and were doing to me, fucking me up left, right and centre, so i had NO CHOICE but to get out. They still dont understand, and i dont know where they live, and they dont know where i live. The second part of my family have recently expressed their disappointment in me, and i dont blame them, i can be a total bastard sometimes. But the general feeling is that they just dont understand, I hope that one day that can be resolved but i guess it wont, life is TOO short.

Watching our world go down the toilet, and watching complete ignorance go unquestioned, I wish i wasnt so enlightened to these things, like i said before ignorance really is BLISS. But once you know you cant go back.

I will hopefully write a positive blog sometime soon, anywayz

Peace and Love x